Run through these five alternatives and you can take care of any problem that comes your way.1. If, however, you and your partner never resolve your fights about money, you could be headed for divorce. Wait long enough and it will be October, when it will be too cold or wet for the paint to dry. The fight about money wouldn’t seem so insurmountable if you and your sweetie came up with a way a compromise so neither feels cheated. You and your partner do make the budget, agree on a plan, and work as a team to manage it. Tools such as these guard against anxiety and depression by giving us a few more ways to confront a situation and begin to resolve it.
Let’s say you have a “to-do” list that’s way too long. Well, you could just sit down like the two adults you are and hash out your differences. But two creative, smart people who love each other can usually come up with a compromise once they bite the bullet and start to have a reasonable conversation instead of a fight. That to-do list wouldn’t feel so daunting if you set out to do three things a day. Sometimes the problem with money is that there really isn’t enough to go around.
A certain amount of play money could then be put into each person’s wallet. Spenders just like to feel they have control over some money to spend as they please.4. Maybe the problem isn’t that your to-do list is too long. As one of my favorite teachers used to say, “When people know what to do, they don’t get upset.
It might help to know there are five ways, and only five ways, to solve it. Getting rid of the partner gets rid of the problem, but it might not be your first choice.2. There just may be some things on that to-do list that will go away if you wait long enough. Wait long enough and the kid will outgrow the shirt. Perhaps funneling a certain amount of money into one account for savings and another account for expenses would ease the anxious partner’s mind. But if the end of the money still comes before the end of the month, all you can do is cope the best you can and encourage each other while you look for ways to increase your income and decrease your outgo. The problem with problems is that they often loom large.
Every problem — no matter how apparently simple it may be — comes with a long list of assumptions attached.
Many of these assumptions may be inaccurate and could make your problem statement inadequate or even misguided.
Words carry strong implicit meaning and, as such, play a major role in how we perceive a problem.
In the example above, ‘be productive’ might seem like a sacrifice you’re doing for the company, while ‘make your job easier’ may be more like something you’re doing for your own benefit, but from which the company also benefits.
It’s become such a big issue, neither one of you wants to touch it with a 10-foot pole. Sometimes the best way to manage a problem is to figure out a way to do it in stages. Whatever it takes to just manage the stress is the best you can do.
Or you could just start taking care of things one by one until they’re all done. Or let’s say you and your partner are always fighting about money.